G'nu Year's Eve

New Years.....blah. It's the only holiday that I'm bah-humbug over. I don't really care that it's new year. Sure I've gone to new years parties and celebrated, but I don't really see the big deal. Not to sound all frou frou hippie-like, but I get more excited over waking up to a new day each morning than to get blitzed-out drunk and go "Woo hoo" over a new year.

My parents do celebrate it quite well though. Every year they have a giant G'nu Year's Party that involves close to 30 or more of family and friends. I remember as a kid they would push the dining room table over to the wall and use a tablecloth so big that when it was draped over it created a hide-out for me to sit under. I would hide there with our dog (if she wasn't stowed away in the basement or kitchen) and watch and listen to the grown-ups partying. It was dark and peaceful admist the antics that were surrounding me. Just before midnight we would all stampede into the kitchen and raid the cupboards for pots, pans, wooden spoons or anything that would make noise. We would then run out to the porch and countdown the last ten seconds of the year and then make one heck of a ruckuss.

When I have children I will show them that New Year's is a good time to let loose and celebrate, but for now I'm just going to try to not fall asleep before 11:30.

My new phone

Social overload

I don't know about you all but I'm so glad that X-mas is all over. After my family thing on the 24th then introducing the woman to my family and chatting for a few hours after that. Followed by meeting the rest of her family on X-mas (with the exception of one family member telling me off for being a little bit of a shit they all seemed really nice) Even so it was very draining meeting that many people and trying to not come off as a fuckup. Shal's mom playfully threatened me if I didn't take care of Shal on the way out. (she meant it to) I felt fine the next day till about dinner when my introverted instincts cot up with me and I just wanted to pass out. We were at Bee and Ass' place for over 5 hours, so I did the blame the woman for making me go thing and went home and crashed. Good thing neither of us had a work thing to go to this week.

All about the shower

100 bucks says ya'll will relate to this..... its dang funny.. I couldn't resist posting it..

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.


If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
**************************************************************

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

New Years Eve!!!!!!!

SO as far as i understand the New Years Eve tradition so far has been to go to assbeards and Bees and hang out and such??? Am I correct? Well this year we were thinking that maybe we could do it at our place, it is a bit bigger and not nearly as warm inside ( Sorry guys but the sauna temp is a bit warm for me). We could do dinner, potluck maybe ??? and hang out pretty much the normal (But with more women, this year) Anyways let us know what you guys think or if you have any other suggestions?

:)

Merry Christmas bitches!

Burp

I'm good lookin.

Thursdays

They suck

Under the wire

Shal has informed me that she feels that if she is dating someone and after 5 years is not married it would be time to move on. Everyone keep Saturday December 4th, 2010 free.

Job relocation

It is official as of the middle of January, i will be working in surrey at the Home depot at the bottom of Scott Road, it means i have to work the occasional saturday and such but no more 4 am shifts and i am closer to home thank goodness... Yay me I am soo happy and russ-kun is thrilled no more 3 am wake ups after the 15th or so

King Kong is racist

James P. Pinkerton is a piece of shit, stupid son-of-a-bitch, cock-munching fuckwad. Case in point: King Kong is racist

Shal Everyone, Everyone Shal

Things Republicans Do To Piss Me Off

The US being the great bastion of liberty and freedom that it is. Has during this past war with Iqaq opened secret CIA prisons in less scrupulous eastern european countries. Now it doesnt just deain people sent to these prisons, no that would be too fair and Geneva convention like. No what america does there is torture people. Using the great rationale that becuase they arent doing it on american soil they dont actually break the Geneva convention. The administration has all but admitted outright that they use a method of interrogation that has been considered torture since the Spanish Inquisition, the great and noble waterboarding method. Now those of you who are up to speed on the John Mcain anti torture bill should now have an idea why the bush administration is so intent on shooting that down. Only a bush administration lawyer would have contempt for people to argue that a known torture method doesn't necessarily violate the lesser international legal standard of "cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment." The best part is under their logic the FBI may use waterboarding, painful stress positions, forced nudity and other methods on Americans, in American prisons, "in certain circumstances." How on earth did people vote for this monster a second time. Read more here.

Work Sucks

I have decided that my goal for the new Year is too find a New job... I welcome any offers or suggestions. I had it really good for a bit there i was working 6 am till 3 pm and it was very very nice, a definete good change but as of tommorow morning i join the land of the zombies once again and have to be at work at 4 am ( Yuck Yuck) I am so not looking forward to it.. And even though i have a crappy schedule and i have to leave the apartment by 3 am russ-kun gets up every morning to let me out. So he may have more frequent 3 am postings once again... i hate my job right now..... HELP ME.....

So this is Christmas...

So since it's Christmastime and all, I suggest that this coming Saturday we all do something Christmassy. (Get out your tattoo needle Lolo and write this one down on your hand.) Me and Assbeard are going to spend the day/evening in Vancouver/Downtown and we are inviting everyone along. This is an official Christmas get together...like a Christmas party (so write it down!!!) We are planning to go see the lights at Van Dusen Gardens in Vancouver and also the Stanley Park Train.

Please RSVP by posting a comment.

I Built Him a Cake

It was Mr. Lunch's birthday this weekend (today actually!) so I made him an awesome cake (mostly from scratch too!). It was lime cake, coconut filling and pineapple icing... definately not typical flavours for this time of the year. That especially was appreciated, and I am sure Lolo will agree, as December birthdays will usually have a Christmas theme to them. This cake ROCKED and I know he really liked it as he has eaten nearly 3/4 of it!

I have such sweet cooking skills.

I'm going to delete that

Shal sent me a pic the other day and it just happened that she was topless. Ok cool. "when did you take that?" "maybe a little over 2 years ago" The next day it clicked 20 - 2 = uhhohh "you said 2 years, was it over 2?" she thought about it and 16 - 17. "Ahhh"

If you had asked...

If you had asked me a week ago what I was planning this weekend it would have been
A) Watch TV at Bee and Ass'
B) Walk around Indian Pizza Road
C) Stay home watch SVU
D) Walk on the side of Indian Pizza Road in only a bathrobe trying to steal a cat

Robbing the cradle

"What's a laserdisc?"
"Beta?"
"You must have graduated in the 90s"

Did u all die?

What happened to the bean dip?? How come no one is posting?!! Please tell me you didn't all go get lives and not tell me about it!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH